Emotional Bakwaas…

 

I ask my friend that I am tired of Facebook, getting all the fatuous posts, having no meaning just like Sho Sho  Honey Singh’s aalap. Well! If you are unaware of the lyrics of a song, and you are quite bad at guessing a singer by his/her voice, Sho Sho Honey Singh provides you the opportunity to introduce himself in each of his songs by barking his name in each alternative line of his song’s lyrics.( teri Principal bhi baby Sho Sho ki fan hai..). His mixture of Punjabi and English always has been a question mark on his identity : Whether is he a Punjabi Pop singer or an English rapper. He starts off his songs well in English verse – Blue eyes hypnotise… a non-Punjabi fan thinks.."Oh here comes our English rapper!" and finishes off his verse with : choti dress main, bomb lagdi mennu , rejuvenating Punjabi fans “Munda to apna Punjab da putar hai”.

Shit!  I deviated from my topic under discussion. Let him be whoever he is. Definitely my these good words might have raised eyebrows of many of his die-hard fans. Okay.. No more praiseworthy words for our Punglish(Punjabi + English) singer. Meanwhile, my friend replies to my dilemma :

-Yeah ! you are right. Even I am bored of Facebook (but still I find him online each time I go on the line ).

-Lets switch to another social networking site. I advice him : As if, there are plenty of option available!! Facebook has rich number of users in India. And if you are willing to switch to another social site, you will find yourself alone in Sahara Desert.

-All social sites are same. I don’t find anyone interesting, anymore.

-Lets create a new one!! I reply with tongue out of mouth smiley.

-Yes! that’s an excellent idea.Lets open our own company. Lets kick off our work. You become CTO and I’ll happy to be CEO.

-Yeah! Firstly we have to hire 4/5 addicted software (so called system’s) engineers. And we’ll name it *******.com. Fix a meeting tomorrow at 5 , in the morning at Taj hotel. I’ll be there.

-No! tomorrow I’ll be in Paris . If you manage to come over there, we can discuss with bed tea.

-No ! No!.. I’ll be managing a Swedish client at bed time..

-Then get the **** off.

-Ok, Lets lets drop this idea till further discussion. I hope you will manage.

-Great… as you wish !!

And that’s how our future-popular company remained only a plan unexecuted, breaking the heart of all future fans and users. And in agony of unwanted, uninteresting and insipid posts I ramped down my Facebook friends list from 350 to 87, deleting all alien faces. All the reason I can provide for this objectionable behaviour is : I like friends but i don’t like  friend of friends much !! However, you can definitely come to me at any point of time and ask “Do I give a shit of what you like ! ” and all I could reply is : Hallelujah !!

Let me move your attention to another trending topic and of-course a favourite time pass for people like us . Movies!!

“Haven’t you seen Andaaj apna apna !” One of the movie names people query about me with their disdainful eyes looking directly at me. “Can you believe it !! You know what, this fellow hasn’t seen Koi..mil gya !!” with eyes getting broader and broader getting my negative response. Friends also have started complaining that most of the times they find me napping in theatres, and at the end of the movie, asking them question about how the story ended!

Well ! there is no explanations I can provide about my untimed naps in theatres. But, about the Bollywood movies: I find their stories predictable, repeating the basic theme (so called love themes) in nearly most of the movies. Most movies start with a solid action and powerful dialogues. Then,the hero makes a dashing entry; meets the actress and love happens in air, and as usual always the third wheel, the villain comes into action. Whether you start watching a Hindi movies  from the beginning or in between the middle, you can always guess the past as well the upcoming plot of the story. …Emotional Atyachar is going on… all of a sudden an item song comes from no where…song ends, the Atyachar continues… At last the villain gets beaten and the love couples enjoys a happy ending. In all these unfavourable conditions how can you expect me watching movies uninterruptedly and attentively !!

PS : No offense intended to die-hard fans of, Sho Sho Honey Singh or Bollywood movies …

A Lost Battle…

“You got some time? Lets discuss about your past six months activities.  I got this work pending and the deadlines were the 10th of this month.”  Heard a familiar casual tone, as I was heading towards my cubical with heavy foot, after having routinely evening snacks. Of course the familiar voice was Boss’s, who definitely gets no time even to comb his remaining hairs. Watching me nodding positively, he headed towards a corner meeting room and I followed him obediently.

My evaluation form, which I had filled in almost no time(copying–pasting from last evaluation form) was wide open and my laziness was quiet visible in the comment sections of the form.

“Let me be transparent(not even translucent in my opinion) in this meeting, I’ll be rating your different parameters only in front of you by having a proper discussion. Oh! the comment sections are not filled properly. How do I know what have you done throughout the past months. I can’t remembers works of all team members, as there are several working under me.”  Spending no time he came straight to the first point : Quality.

“Actually, quality wise you have done a decent job, completed tasks on time, some times, well before hand. You are meeting the targets set for you…”

“Who sets the target for me?” I interrupted in the middle trying to be vigilant.

“That comes from the higher authorities. Now, where were we! Yes, quality wise you met the targets but it seems something is missing!”

“Something is missing!! What got missing?”

“Well I remember you didn’t performed well during one of the application release activities. That’s, what makes you not 100%.” he explained with a fake smile.

“I thought you would be reviewing my coding and analytical abilities, but the mentioned missing thing is fatuous.” I replied, thinking of the saying: Misdeeds are enduring while good deeds are ephemeral.

“That’s not pointless and its because sometimes you are not attentive. You have to be always careful, mistakes are not permitted. Lets see another parameter: Effort.

Your effort is efficient to the project specific works.  But the story here also lies the same. What extra effort have you put?” he questioned impassively looking directly at me.

“No extra payment no extra effort” I shrugged.

“Oh, there lies the problem. You do works which I assign to you. You do it pretty good or somehow I can say excellent, but you should take an initiative and come and ask me for some works.”

Being speechless, I nodded affirmatively.

“You have to do some extra things. Take an example. How many people have you appreciated in the our team for their good works. Have you ever came to me said: Oh Boss! You have done an excellent work. Kudos to you! Well done Bravo….”

“I thought that appreciation thing is only a top down approach. Means, the senior member should appreciate the junior one, and I fall in junior category,  otherwise it would be a supercilious act, a flattery.” I replied in defense.

“Oh no! That’s not what you think, Suppose, you provide a tip to waiter in a restaurant, think of it from perspective of the waiter: He might feel proud that he is rewarded because he’s done a good job serving his customers. Same feelings also applies here. We will also feel happy with such an appreciation.”

I thought of the idea may not be relevant but it was a well chosen comparison. Meanwhile the discussion was over with some more healthy tips. The outcomes suggested that the battle was already won: of-course not by me!! 

Is Boss Always Right ?

While the Boss was busy reviewing a piece of code and mumbling a boring old song of  90’s, I was sitting next to him with a spiritless look on the screen. Well, it bothers a lot, when you find someone crooning a song of your distaste, being next to you.
‘Do you drink?’ the first question, he asked as the scrutiny was over. I don’t know girl’s case, but it’s the most common question, boys ask during their normal conversations. Probably in a hope of finding a companion, if you say, yes, or getting a chance of teasing when you say no. And unlike all the other times I said ‘No’.
‘What are you saying man! You really don’t drink.’ he asked amusingly. ‘Is there any reason behind it or is it your health concerns?’ 
‘The problem is, I don’t like the taste of it. Its bitter.’ I replied giving a grimace.
‘Have u tried it or just or is it a presumption ? And if it’s a presumption, you are totally wrong’ he asked with reprobation, in response to my expression.
‘Well, I had tasted it, in college days, and I didn’t like it, and after that I didn’t tried’, I replied nonchalantly.
‘That’s the problem, If you don’t try , how would you like it?’ he said sounding judicious and rational. ‘See, when you first came here, you didn’t like COCOA, and after you tried, now you value it a lot. People don’t get the importance of things, until they use it, until they get addicted.’
‘Yes, but that’s because of, a little bit of interest and much of predicament. But surely,  I will consider this much thought of you and give it a try once again ’, jibed with his opinion, I replied.
‘ Yes sure, try it intermittently, but do not get habituated. Take some pegs and you will feel rejuvenated and fortified.’
I could only give a nod as in response, thinking that May be, The Boss is always right. Let it be the new year resolution , the idea came to my mind in introspection.
31st December Night:
‘And the most popular female actress awards goes to…’ The bitching  and moaning about the star plus cine award was on. I had my last peg, not at all in sober mood went directly to bed. Unaware of the phone calls for new year wishes, I laid on the bed with a spinning mind and an motionless body.
The next day, the first new year morning went cleaning up the mess of consequences of, last night drinks. And finally I managed to change, the new year resolution to ‘Do not, always listen to your Boss, The Boss is not always right.’

persons,wish to meet before 2013

 

The Thanks Giving day and Black Friday are over. Its not like I knew these western holidays earlier, until I got some mail representing exciting offers from Amazon and eBay on eve of these holidays.The new year is approaching rapidly along with the silent euphoria arousing inside, of, would be at home within the coming couple of weeks. The accomplishments are, of getting familiar of the latest OS provided by two different software giants, Apple and Microsoft (Mountain Lion / Windows 8). The new year celebrations are impending fast, however the apocalyptic day, 21/12/12 is imminent. The sky may fall and it may crumbles in the end of the year. Despite these uncertainties, and inspired, only by the title of the movie, “Jab Tak Hai Jaan”, I still urge to meet these persons before 2013.

Manmohan Singh 

Why ? Because he is the man behind currently the most successful woman in Indian politics.

 What To say ? Is it true that, first in his lifetime Rajnikant failed,and it was an unsuccessful attempt to make you speak ?

Barack Obama

Why? Because his foreign policy killed both, Obama physically and Romney, socially.

What to say ? You are the first person of The USA, your wife is the first lady, Which of your children should we consider the first Baby of the USA?

Tim Cook

Why? Because he made the greatest thing happen to iPhone since iPhone: the Apple Maps.

What to say ? You may have insanely great things in technology but, If you don’t have Windows 8, well, you don’t have Windows 8.

Sharukh Khan

Why? Because, he is been upgraded to King of romance after the era of Yash Raj ended.

What to say? Its time to change your choreographer for your next movie. Try something new, Oppan Gangnam Style!

 Kristen Stewart

Why? Because in current year, she is the highest paid actress in Hollywood .

What to say ? Vampires may be cold blooded but, its true that some of them have no facial expression at all.

Had Programming been the Medical way!

Dear Facebook,
Its since the day fell for your charms, the day since I get addicted not because of your look and feel, but some pretty faces out there, I could find the same question being asked by you, each time, I visit my home page; “What’s on your mind?”
Well! Its true that you have changed the significance of ‘f’. But honestly, its always been hard to share with you, the persons, thoughts and ideas, ideally on my mind. And, I bet, if I try anything like this, there could be a lot of bombs exploding, in between friends, in the office or may be from some strangers!
#1. Had Programming been the Medical way!
“One could not count the vigorous effort that you put in you logic, Or the numerous errors, that reside behind your code.”
The air becomes saturated, its hard to breathe, your body is raging with fumes, you feel trapped. You could feel the surrounding has deafening sound of silence. You haven’t eaten for hours, and still, you feel your stomach flooded. You don’t find anyone who can comfort you. You don’t find any music melodious, or a friend peculiar.
Please do not be misguided these feeling with what those intellectuals call it , the crazy stupid: Love. The mouse next to you starts randomly cutting out for a second or two before working again for a while, like it’s just dying.You feel, the monitor, in front of you, behaving like a black and white TV, playing an inaudible Sastriya Sangit.
Yes! you are definitely in between agony, trying hard to get your logic work as it should be. Meanwhile, someone reviews your logic and comments : Holy Crap! leaving you bamboozled.
I wish, the programming had been the medical way where I could proudly say:-

“See! If you want this logic to be implemented I would charge, a hundred grand for that, otherwise I won’t give a shit to it! All the if-else statements, the for/while loops, would be charged separately, based on the logic it consists. Twenty grand for each the test case I would write and thirty, for testing those cases. Because, I am knackered, the way, you come to me at the end of the day,when I’d about to leave, and ask ‘Let’s start working on this enhancement.’ I am shattered  with your requirements, that changes often, than the weather, the design, that is manipulated at your wish.”

Thanks,
Yours Availer.

Are We Satisfied...

A cage , three ‘firangi’ parrots, one of them green, another yellow and the last one white, hardly 3 inches long from head to tail.The cage is tied up from the roof of a Dhaba. The weird thing is the name, ’Tourist’, given to the Dhaba. Earlier, I knew only one common name given to all Dhabas, ‘Baba the Dhaba’.  People come and go , watch those prisoners, praise their beauty, enjoy, their chirping, their movements inside a tiny home. One of them, the yellow one, is silent, as of, has given up all the hopes. It keeps on resting/sleeping inside it’s artificial nest made up of soil ,inside the cage,itself. The green one keeps on chirping, as of thinking,’To Fly or not to Fly’ . The third, the white one keeps  moving from one wall of the steel cage to another,screeching, hitting the steel wires with its beak, trying to bypass part of its body, more than the beak, outside the tiny home, so called a cage. Holding the steel wire tightly with its talons ,always seems to get off the prison. Two small boxes, one filled with grains , another with water resides at the bottom of the cage. The green one often takes some grains in its beak and jumps back to it’s place. The roadside dirt has most affected the white one, its feathers has been turning into dull pale. They eat ,sleep,awake and again feed themselves, again sleep. 

I visit that Dhaba seldom for lunch. Watch them closely performing the same activities in order. I could feel them, looking at me, intently with a mixture of amusement, confusion and suspicion. Feel like being asked a question by them : “Are you the one who is going set us free ? If not , why are you staring me like this, stop giving us , a murderous look. Are you satisfied taking our freedom ?  Despite all your intelligence, you, human could never be satisfied.”

Sometimes, I feel like, going to the Dhaba owner and ask them about the price for those birds. Also take any local native person, who will help me to bargain their price, in their conventional language. But what if they could not adopt the outside environment, die with hunger and thirst.Neither way, I feel satisfied with their whereabouts.

A Coffee With …

“You know, the Manager wants to see me… I don’t know why the heck he is interesting in meeting me . He just said , wants to talk about some project related thing.”
“Oh , That’s a positive sign, maybe he wants to involve you in some good work. Might be some change of project.”
“Let’s see, what happens !”
A tall, dark man with well maintained physique, passed my cubical saying that he wanted to meet me in next five minutes , in the meeting room situated at the corner side of the working area.
Within five minutes we were inside the room sitting face to face. The only difference had been a cup of coffee, that was missing in my hands. While he was enjoying a cold coffee (surely taken from CCD), I was sitting idle along with a spiritless look.
“So, We have something really important to discuss. As we have a lot of people finding opportunities to move to the location of the client ,so called ‘on-site’ , we are left with  a lot of places to filled after they leave. Such an opportunity awaits you. You have been in this project for marginal time, and I think you are quite familiar with both the front end and back end technologies and terminologies…” 
“Actually front end,in back end, I just, worked on only few enhancements.”, I interrupted him in the middle, with a half grinning, half grimacing, look of distaste.
“Okay, I think you must have a proper understanding of current project. There are some people, in the support section of this project, who are moving apart, and I am here to suggest you to avail this opportunity.” 
“But… I am not interested in the kind of work done in support field.”
“What do you mean you are not interested ?”
“I mean…Err… I don’t feel the kind of work, good enough, they do in support.”
“You never have been in support , how can you say like that ?”
“Yes, I have been in buffer for some days in support team prior to coming into this one. I have seen them working. And  I also, don’t like the timing in which they work,generally, there was two shifts there. One was morning from 7 am to 5 pm and another from 12pm to 9pm. I am not comfortable with either of the shifts.”
“That’s not a valid point, how can you say about there work not  good enough. They also do the same work as we do in development.The only difference is, You get tickets there, and you have to solve them within a time period.”
“Yes , when you get tickets you solve them and  the rest of the time, I have seen people wandering around the food courts for tea or gossip. I don’t find it as a challenging work. And also you have to work during weekend, providing support services sitting at home.”
“That’s a misconception that support work in not as much challenging as development. I want to tell you about one of my colleagues, who is, at Manager post, in Apple. Can you believe he was in support work, for a long period of four years. You can be there just for a short duration of 18 to 24 months.”
“That’s not a short duration. I don’t see any work pressure there,  you get tickets, you solve them , other times , you sit idle. And you can’t learn things without feeling any pressure. We have less opportunities of learning new things…...”
Meanwhile the conversation was interrupted by a phone call at his mobile. Finishing his call for 2-3 minutes, he came to the point again.
“Yeah! ,Sorry for the interruption, Where were we! , OK ..Think about it more like this, you get idle time, you can utilize them in learning new technologies. You can learn whatever you want, whether its Java, .NET or web based html. I don’t see any valid reason , why don’t you want to work in support ?”
“Err…. the reason is still same, I am not interested at all, I don’t see that work neither inspiring nor motivating.”
Thinking for few seconds he said, “Well, I just want you to wait here for sometimes, till the TL of the support team visits you. Let me check whether she is available or not. Talk to her, and if she is able to convince you then we are all set, otherwise don’t say directly ‘No’ to her.”
All I wanted was, to yell at his back , Is it like so. First you killed our technology interests and now you want us to do work as per your likings. Forget about the Customer Delight, you boast about, are you keeping the delight of your own employees.
In a duration of five minutes a lady walks in, with glasses perched on the tip of her nose, and the same drama was repeated for one more time.

Good Programmers Copy

“Ek Bagal mein Chand hoga , Ek Bagal mein Rotiyan….” the melody was buzzing deep inside my ears through the ear buds. It was half past one, the afternoon timing, when you try hard to keep yourself awake.And, once you put ear buds on , you can the feel the world off ! Some people still manage to find the whole day refreshing, and I am certainly not one of them.

In the mean time I could sense somebody was calling my name. Putting the dream of, both ‘Chand’ and ‘Rotiyan’ aside, I managed to  I snuck around the neighboring co-worker. I could see him working on some hot issues , he faced during our daily job: ‘coding’- what we call it as.

“I got a problem for you. Here is piece of code that I had, exactly  copied from the code snippet, you had written earlier. But I am getting some kind of issues with this piece of code. Can you check and tell me , what the issue is ?” 

I managed to give him  a ghost of nod. Sniffing around of his piece of code, I could found nothing of my interest.

“Okay, leave it I will find it by myself, he mumbled.

“Yes sure . Also let me know what is the problem”.

Meanwhile, the phone rang, displaying an unknown number at screen.

“Hallo!”

All I could hear was a distant person’s voice chattering across the other side of the phone.

“Please, speak in English on Hindi.”

“I am already speaking in English, Sir.”

I figured out,the accent of English, was totally different to what we Indians speak. And for we, all English accent, other than Indian are hard to grasp.

“Hi ! I am calling from Kindle customer services UK . You had raised a request for replacement of your Kindle device, as you had mentioned that some of the keys on your device are malfunctioning.”

“Yes that’s true.”

“Okay. So for security reasons I request you to add the payment details on your account in amazon.com. You should have a valid credit/debit card for filling up those details.”

”Can you please call me tomorrow or may be day after tomorrow as I don’t have the credit card details right now.”

Getting a positive response from the other side of the phone , I hung it up.

“Hey ! I think you have forgotten all the coding logic , you had implemented some days ago.” the neighboring person said sarcastically.

“Who remembers the logic implemented codes, that was written two months ago.” I replied, giving a wounded look to him.

“You ,even can’t explain the solution of the problem which I had mentioned you, sometime earlier. You must have copied and pasted all the code snippets from somewhere else.”  he argued.

“Definitely I had copied and pasted a lot of code snippets, but that was a successful copy and paste. And you did the same thing, but yours is unsuccessful.” I  defended.

“ Its not all about copying and pasting, there are some concepts behind coding.” he said, more irritably this time.

“That concept part may called Programming , but The ‘Coding’ seems to be nothing more than a successful copy and paste or a lucky hit and trial.”

It let me reminded the the famous statement of the cofounder of Apple,  Steve jobs:

“Good Programmers copy, but great programmers steal ideas. Every novice can be a coder but it takes years to become a programmer, and some people can not make it, till the end.”

Later on, he asked me , whether should he include the update of  work done by me, for the day, as ‘copied and pasted codes’.

“Of course! You can, but append the word “Successfully”  as a prefix.”

The Day the Earth danced at Shakira’s tone

“So you use your own Unix login credentials for data base connectivity.”
“Yes I do.”
“Can you show me the details of your daily hourly effort you put in work ?”
“Yes sure !”
“Whom are you reporting to?”
“Earlier I was reporting to Mr. …. but now its Mr. …..”
It was an audit going on just behind me. The person was shooting questions like a bullet to my team mate and She was taking those questions as an input, processing them and came up with a well verse answer as an output. The big boss was standing beside them watching the conversation.  As it was afternoon period , I was sleeping from inside , trying hard to keep my eyes open. Suddenly I could feel my chair oscillating like someone had played “Hips don’t lie” song and  my chair was well aware of that.Thinking of someone might be shaking my chair intensely,I turned around making a face to see who was it. Aware of the situation the audit person was rushing towards the exit.Probably he knew the fact that if he would be late, God would be taking his audit from next time ! Somebody announced “ it’s an earthquake.” People started vacating the place. No damage was done at that place.I could find many people not aware of the slight tremors. I asked my Boss for a permission -
“Boss ! Could I take one iMac with me ,as, if the tremor  returns with magnitude, there would be nothing left for coding !”
“Yes! Sure, you can , if the security allows you to do so.” he replied sarcastically.
Within five minutes people were outside the building gathered around for the discussion that continued another half an hour.
“If it would be of high magnitude , you won’t even get time to move from your place.Within a fraction of seconds you would be somewhere beneath the  debris.”
“Where is Mr. ….?”
“He said he won’t come out of building. He’s afraid,what if a P1 ticket comes in between !”
Back to work after half an hour I went straight to one of my team mate – “Please  give me your helmet. I want to secure my future for the day. I even don’t have any LIC policy till yet !”

A Technical Viva

“Hey! How is the External(interviewer) ?” I asked one of my classmate, who just got out of the interview room.
“He’s really a ‘Khadus’(bastard) ! He thinks himself nothing less than Bill Gates.” Got a disappointing reply from him.
It’s the semester viva, 3rd semester. The subject is “Principle Of Programming Languages”.We are having group viva, consisting of at least 5 people  in group. The first group, joining the External is the unluckiest one because they do not get any feedback . Whenever a group,comes out of the interviewer’s room , narrates the questions being asked , the mood and personality of External.
“What is the Intel's latest processor ?” came a voice in chaos.
One of my group member looked at me for an answer. I shrugged , murmured Pentium, the only processor I had heard about. He made a disgusting look and went in search for “Raju Scientist”, a guy who had the first assembled desktop in our batch.
Its Quart Core, the latest processor.”
“Is scanner an input device or output device ?” heard another question in chaos.
“It must be an input device , because when I told him that it is an output device ,he gave me a pity look.” came an answer from the mob.
Next was our group’s turn, the second last group. Only thing good was, we could proudly say that we were  nicely dressed ,in formal wear just to impress the External.
“Oh ! You people are really looking nice in formal wear. Let me check , whether your brains are as nice as your dresses ! All the previous group people really disappointed me and now I  expect some smart answers from this group. So should I proceed ? ” A mid-fifties ,half bald person with a large spectacle up on the nose , greeted us as we entered.
“Yes Sir !” we replied in unison.
“OK, Good ! Now , as the subject name is “Principle of programming languages” so tell me ,What do you people understand by programming language ?” He put a glance at the person sitting at the edge of our row.
“It’s a language used by programmers, and programmers generally use it.” He added the answer followed by  a pin drop silence.
“Programming language is a…” another person tried hard to recall but could not remember the rest part of definition.
The interviewer stared at rest of us ,as of asking any thing extra we want to add. All eyes went down as a response to his expectations.
“OK” he sighed. “Tell me in which languages we generally do programming ?”
“Sir , Its English ! We do all our coding in English Language”,came a  quick reply.
“Are you sure ? The programming language is English ?”
“Yes Sir ! We don’t have a Hindi keyboard yet.”
“Have you heard of Dennis Ritchie ?” He asked looking at me.
Who the heck on earth was he? I though,  nodded a negative response despite his anticipation.
“You must be knowing Daniel Craig !” he asked sarcastically.
The named seemed familiar ,so I nodded a positive response this time with much confidence.
Pissed off my response he took a disgusting look at each of us.
“Oh good ! I am overwhelmed to meet students like you.” He stopped and thought for a while, “You must be having computers with you , at least tell the configuration of your computers.”
“Actually Sir , it’s a monitor , a CPU , a keyboard , a mouse and a UPS configured together.” came a girl’s voice as a response.
“Great to see the future of Information Technology. Now , you may leave , please!”
We came out without dignity but  winning a battle against ignorance.
“Hey How is the External ?” One of the person from last group asked me.
“He is really a jerk,a bastard,**** !”

Who should be loved ,how and how much

“They all tampered with the laws that lay down who should be loved and how. And how much. The laws that make grandmothers grandmothers, uncles uncles, mothers mothers, cousins cousins, jam jam, and jelly jelly.”
Small things happen in everyone’s life , may be or may not be on a daily basis. But knowingly or unknowingly ,these small things are generally neglected . The Author of the book ,  “The God Of Small Things” has stressed on those small things in life , that can affect people’s behavior and to much extent their day to day life.
 Our country is obsessed with the concept of  “Love laws”. The love laws are a set of wrong protocols , defined by Indian society ,thousands of years ago , but still ingrained in people’s mind.   The question being asked in this Law , “Who should be loved , how and how much” is yet to be answered. The law is being broken by each and every character of the story in the form, like being married to a person of different caste and religion , being fallen in love with an untouchable person , the distribution of love among a baby girl and a baby boy.
The author has described all sort of emotions of, betrayal , forbidden love and family love. The consequences of forbidden love that causes someone’s life , betrayal caused by marrying to a person of different caste and religion , a molested child who suffers a state of dumbness not able to express his feelings, a widow living in her parent’s home , a non-identical twins aged at seven got separated and reunited at age of 31, an elderly woman who never married because she broke the “Love Law” by falling in love with a priest , an optimist uncle who still loves his wife even if she dumped her for another man.
Even in the 21st century , we are still bound to the “Love Laws”. We still fall in love breaking those laws, hurting near and dear ones. And the consequences are not favorable always as suggested by author herself.
“When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.”

A Christmas Present

“Wake up, you loafer ! Don’t waste my time. I have lots of places to visit. Get up  otherwise you will miss this Christmas present.”
A portly,white bearded man wearing a redcoat with white collar and a red trouser ,was beside my bed , having some gift packs along with a red envelope in his hands.
“Stop yawning and listen to me carefully. I got a Christmas present for you.”
“Christmas present for me ! I never got any earlier.” I responded rubbing my eyes.
“Yes ! You come across all the good things only once in your life. Although the bad things happen repeatedly.”
I had an eye on the largest gift box in his hands but contrary to my expectations he handed me the red envelope.
“It’s a message from God. He was complaining that ,it’s been a long time since you remembered him.” he answered before I could ask what was it ?
I recalled, the last time I prayed was just before the final assessment in training. Later, I tried visiting some popular temples for ‘Puja’, ‘Archna’ and ‘Aarti’ but each time I ended up with empty wallet for the sake of pundits there.
I opened the envelope , there was a letter and a message written on it.
 
Dear human,

“Once there was a beautiful place in universe called Earth, that I had provided to you for living. You started living happily in that heavenly environment. But as you increased in numbers you developed a common characteristics among yourself : “hatred”. And this very envy among yourself is helping me out in a way.Here, I got a shortage of tormented space  so called ‘HELL’. So I was thinking of shifting this HELL called thing there, on Earth ,as it seems there would be no any difference in both in the coming future.”
“But there is still time left. Stop being a Villain through out your lifetime ! Stop daydreaming and sitting idle all the day! Stop being possessive in nature! Do not wait to listen what others say about yourself . The inside story is in “What you think of yourself.” There is always only one obstacle in your progressive life and that is YOU. Change yourself if you can, otherwise the Earth would be renamed as ‘HELL !’”

Yours,
GOD

Yeh Hai Bombay Meri Jaan

 

26th January (Republic Day) is coming . One of the two days (the other is Independence Day; for them who have forgotten the names) when we, somehow try to remember our past patriotic leaders. Within some days the songs devoted to our nation can be heard in a Paan Shop or a Saloon or hardly in somebody’s home.

School days were better ,when at least we were more interested in celebrating,  not because the patriotism towards the nation,but because the sweets that we were getting on Republic /Independence day. Getting up early , asking mother for nicely pressed cloths , with a rough sketch of national flag in hand, we would march forward to the school premises for flag hoisting. National anthem was shouted out loud at highest pitch and then comes the sweet distribution round, the most awaited.

But the days have changed (we say so ; but its us who changed) ,now I hardly remember the complete verse of national anthem.

I was getting bored of watching all sort of movies (action/comedy/horror and the most boring the love stories) ,while surfing over IMDB came across a Bollywood movie named Mumbai Meri Jaan .

It’s a movie that talks about the aftermath of the serial bombing in the local trains - by which more than half of Mumbai’s life travels each day. An incident that still causes gooseflesh to the Mumbaikars , whenever they recall it.The story is about five persons who are not related together but the bombing has caused the similar affect on each of them. But this dynamic city has a never dying spirit. People start living a normal life just one or two days after the incident. The daily passengers continue travelling by suburban trains , the police is still busy in finding the guilty.

But the aftermath responsibilities are totally different, that is handled by the Government of India and the other country’s . Other nations never forget what those have lost in any terrorist attack .Osama is rewarded death even ten years after his fabulous work in 2001. Unlike in  India , where even if a terrorist is caught he is still celebrating his Birthday year by year inside jail premises.

The movie has a different taste, not related to terrorists or their activities or the political drama on them. The most loving part is one of the old melody from Mohammad Rafi :

ए दिल है मुश्किल जीना यहाँ
ज़रा हटके ज़रा बचके, यह है बॉम्बे मेरी जान

कहीं बिल्डिंग कहीं ट्रामे ,कहीं मोटर कहीं मिल
मिलता है यहाँ सब कुछ इक मिलता नहीं दिल

इंसान का नहीं कहीं नाम-ओ-निशाँ
ज़रा हटके ज़रा बचके ,यह है बॉम्बे मेरी जान|

Five Persons I wish I could meet before 2012

Its December 22nd , Winter solstice , the shortest day of the year 2011. Christmas ,two days to go . Nine days to go and New year will be here but its first time, there is no any excitement. The day starts with waking up early ,heading towards a building where an empty chair along with a desktop is always waiting. Daily activities are like checking and forwarding e-mails , keeping an eye on the average working hours ,counting how many days to go for Friday, browsing some study materials , reading and acting to read ,until someone comes and asks the most awkward question
“ Hey ! What are you doing ? ”
Friends are there , who are always punctual at some activities like going for lunch and dormitory, a coffee at CCD  or for an evening walk !
Albeit these tedious days will continue throughout this year , just forget it , here is the list of five persons I wish I could meet before the world ends in 2012 !
      1.  Sachin Tendulkar 
why ? – Because he has been a role model for whole generation of cricketers ,an inspiration to the young generation.
What to ask ? – How does it feel like being a GOD ? 
      2.  Baba Ramdev
Why ? – Because he is the latest swami who became a crusader against corruption.
What to ask ? – Why don’t you come to Jharkhand and help our legendry CM ‘Madhu Koda’ getting cured ? The state is missing it’s great leader.
      3.  Sharad Pawar
Why ? –  There are something we can not do ,        For all those things , there is ‘Harvinder Singh’.
What to ask ? – Why haven’t you offered your other cheek , instead insulted Gandhi by not following his principles ?
     4. Mark Zuckerberg
Why ? -  Is there any bachelor who does not want to meet him !
What to ask ? – As the world is going to end on 21/12/12 , why don’t you make me  partner of your firm ?
      5. Rajinikanth
why ?- To tell him , there is one thing you can’t do :  “You can not read my blog posts !”
What to ask ? – Throughout the year I was searching for the answer of the question asked by your son-in-law . Now I give up. Please tell me “Why this Kolaveri Di ? ”. 

Shit Happens !

Mysore, July 2nd, 2011
Venue : Hostel No 85
Saturday , One of the holidays the Company celebrates every week. I woke up late in the morning by a phone call threat,from one of my mate,the movie maniac.
“Wake up ! We have to go for movie tickets. Get ready  soon,otherwise I will miss the movie, I don’t care about you missing it. Hurry up !”
‘Sleeping’,the most pleasant activity because it has dreams in it ; dreams, where I find myself not less than Rajnikant ! Somehow I paused my dream ,got ready ,and marched on for Mission ‘Movie’. Till we reached the multiplex, the queue for tickets had been one and half kilometer long .  My friend frowned at me , why not ? He missed the first show of Aamir Khan’s production “Delhi Belly” just because of me. Frustrated ,depressed he went near the poster ,looked at each characters thoroughly, read the tag line of the movie “Shit Happens” ,came back to me with frowny face , as the first Shit had happened to him. All I could do was to assure him that we would be the first one in the queue for the next show.
But someone had planned differently for us. I went to the clinic for the check up and ,the nurse there ,examined for 2-3 minutes and finally announced :
“Oh ! We have one more case of Chicken Pox.”
Looking at me she said again “ You have to get admitted in hospital as you are not allowed to stay here, in the campus ,any more.” Another Shit of the day,that had happened to me.
Venue : Apollo,Mysore
I, along with two other friends was waiting for check-in at accommodation desk.
“Sir ! We have three types of  wards available, named as, Silver ,Gold and Platinum. Silver is with single bed ,a chair but no a/c. Gold is with extra facility, a/c and a normal TV in it. Likewise Platinum consist of microwave oven, freeze and LCD TV in it. Which kind of room you want to book ?” She said in one breath and an artificial smile on her face.
“OK. Book the room with lowest price.”I replied in a low tone, checking the sign board again ,wondering, was it a hospital or a three star hotel. 
“Sorry Sir ! As this is a patient season we don’t have rooms available in Silver ward for next 7 days and there would be room available in Gold ward by tomorrow. Should I book a room in Platinum ward ? Rooms in this ward are very comfortable with….”
“Do I have any other choice ?” I interrupted her in between.
“No Sir !”
“OK book it for tonight, but I will get it changed to Gold ward by tomorrow.” I said and counted how much money would I have to put for getting cured. I got a wicked smile as I remembered the conversation with my brother on the day I got my first salary , 30th of June, two days ago. He had asked how would I spend my first salary !
A nurse entered my room with a letter pad, without any delay started interrogating :
“What happened! Do you smoke? Alcoholic ?What are the belongings with you ? Laptop ? Mobile ? Any jewellery ? Married ? Children ?”
All I could do was to nod yes or no with making a face at her.
“The doctor would be visiting you ,soon.” She left after noting all the information.
As she had said , an overweight person came within  half an hour, along with four beautiful nurses , in between the ages of 20 to 25. Looking at them and the doctor I sighed, cursed myself  “Why hadn’t I opted for medical science , six years ago!” 
The next morning I got my room changed to another ward , the quality of facilities changed ,and likewise the ages of nurses ,in between 30 and 35!
Days passed , nights elapsed, shits were over, I came back to campus repenting over missing a movie full of shits !

What’s not in a Surname

 

“Tell me your name Boy”

the person sitting in front of me asked, while he was writing something on the letter pad.

“Its Sudhansu, S,u,d………”. I replied humbly, while he continued writing in a non-readable format. I was wondering, why all doctors have such a good hand-writing , that can only be understood by the doctor himself or the person sitting in the medical shop !

“What’s the problem with people,today ?Why don’t they tell their surnames? ” he asked as if I knew the answers.

“What’s in a surname ,Sir !” the only words I could think of as a reply.

“Oh  ! What’s not in a surname ! How can I know , which caste do you belong ?”

“Sir ! Do you prescribe medicines based on caste ?” I asked with amusement.

“No! Surnames are the criterion ,Indian people consider , when they need to know which caste other Indian people belong . See , our corrupted politicians ! They are very much good at it. How do they grab public attention when they visit some unfamiliar region of different caste and creed, for their rally ? All it matters is our surnames” he said, like he was the most hurt by corruption in our nation. “Now if you are in no mood of telling your surname , Should I write your name as ‘Sudhansu  I’ ? Do you know what ‘I’ symbolizes ? ”

I nodded a negative reply.

“Oh ! ‘I’ is for Indian. Think ,….how  good it would be when we all Indians ,have the same surname ,‘I’. There would be no distinction based on name, in a country.Likewise we should have ‘P’ for all people from Pakistan, ‘B’ for Bangla Desh and so on…..” he explained and slid the prescription paper towards me. “We will meet together ten days later.”

"That would be a great idea. At least our political problem would be solved .But it is worth saying.We could do nothing in it!” Later I bid him good bye with a thank you and a smile. I am waiting for next appointment with him where I  will tell my name ,adding ‘I’ as surname !

When a Stranger Calls

• Venue – Boy’s Hostel(3rd year) ,No. –12
• Timing – around 11 pm ,December ,2009

KC , my 1st year roommate , comes to my room .He is a movie maniac. Whenever he entered my room  late at night , it was sure I had to watch a movie with him. That day he came with a pen drive and a movie in it. Without any discussion about which movie to watch , he plugged in the pen drive . It was horror movie name     “One Missed Call ”.
Movie was decided , so it was time to make room environment unfriendly for a horror movie. Lights were switched off , woofers were connected, door was shut and windows were opened as of making a bypass for spirits. Movie was started around 12 am .
Story was about a chain of people who received terrifying phone calls from themselves in the future in form of  voice mails that include the date and  exact time of their deaths. The death chain continues as the victim receives a call from the last victim. Some scenes were quite scary to have goose bumps. Well , the massage of movie was  “ Should you ever receive a phone call from yourself dated in the future , do not answer ! ”
The show  ended around 1:30 am ,and as usual it was time to have a brief discussion on it , the missing manual : what , why and how the  story proceeded in movie. The discussion went about one and a half hour, firing philosophy of ghosts by two of us .In the end I requested him to sleep on the bed next to me ,as ghosts of different shapes were performing ‘Tandava’ in my mind.
It was around 3 am ,when the silence in the room was pierced by nokia tune. My heart rose to my throat.It was an unknown call.  I looked at KC , he was also looking at me with his mouth open. He was in no mood of receiving the call , so I had to grasp it, answered “Hello” in a breathless voice.
“Is Sanjay there ? I want to talk with him”
came a girl’s voice from the other side. I took a sigh of relief, recalled, Is there any one named ‘Sanjay’ in my corridor : ‘No’ , Is there any one named ‘Sanjay’ in my branch of strength 30 boys : ‘No’.  I handed the phone to KC , thought, she might be looking for him. He stammered as he said “Hello” in a low tone.
“I want to talk with Sanjay , hand over the phone to him”
“Are Bengali phone rakhega, Sale ! sone do .”
 his irritation rasped in his voice as he hanged up the phone.
“He is ‘Bengali’ ,on the other side. He’s using some mobile app that is used to translate a male voice in a female one.I’ve seen it on TV”
 He explained to me that the person on the other side might be one of our batch mate “a bengali guy”. I thought he should be correct otherwise  my time was up as received a unknown call like seen in the movie. Meanwhile ,the phone ranged the second time, displaying same unknown number. I picked up again ,the same voice came
“Why don’t you let me talk with Sanjay ? Its urgent”
“There is nobody called ‘Sanjay’ here. Now, would you please stop ringing me at this time”  I replied.
“No, its urgent. I have some problems” she said again.
“Sanjay is nowhere present here, how can I hand over phone to him”
“OK, then you must help me . I am a 12th class student and I have some problem in solving H.C. Verma’s Physics book questions” she said like she had called in a Physics helpline center .
“Is this the time to ask  questions related to Physics , now , just get lost and let me sleep” I  replied in a harsh tone.
“you just get lost….” I could hear before hanging up for the second time.
 I looked at KC , who was about to leave my room because of disturbance. I pulled him back to bed ,as the phoned ranged for third time.
“Just help me to solve one question -   A man throws a ball with velocity 'u' and angle Θ,from a lift  which is moving upward with velocity ‘v’ .With what velocity does the ball touch the ground ?” she asked as I picked up the phone.
“OK its ‘v+u’ multiplied by cosΘ divided by under root sin2Θ plus 'u' by tanΘ” I replied in a random guess as KC was chuckling beside me.
“No, its not the answer , tell me the correct one.” she said after waiting for few seconds , might be checking the answer.
“Then I don’t know how to solve it . Now please hang the phone up and let me sleep , I have to attend morning sessions at College. If you have any more questions, call me in the morning.. no in the afternoon, I’ve classes in the morning.” I slammed down the phone without waiting for a response. Put the phone is silence and went bed thinking of that person who was more than just a scary ghost from the movie.

• Timing : around 8:30 am

I woke up , grasped the phone, looked at its screen. It displayed….
“+9197…….. 
39 missed calls” .
           

The White Tiger Review

      I was travelling from Kolkata to Mysore in 2nd class compartment .People say
do not buy pirated books , because that hurts the Author as well as the publication.
But I bought 3 pirated copies of  different novels that day . The reason is not about
saving money, its about typical Indian mindset of mine ..Why should I invest in buy-ing original copies , if I am getting the same material in low price, who care the low quality pages ? I just have to read it, I don't want to put it in a safe !
     I had heard a lot about this book,so I was much excited when I started reading it.
The story is about a Murderer who turns out to be an Entrepreneur,meet Balram Halwai,Villain for his own family/master but also a Hero for himself. Born to a Rickshaw-puller  ,worked at tea-shop ,crushed coals for livelihood  but has a dream to become rich. Somehow escapes from his family and village, gets a job as a Chauffeur to a rich Landlord.He finds the difference in thinking of two of the landlord's son, one of  them  is educated in US and other ,in India. He learns that there is no other way to win a competition rather than killing the competitor. He reaches Delhi ,the soul of the country driving the Honda along with his master and mistress. He finds that even the landlords who behaves like a King Lion to the villagers, has to be like a Dog  to the corrupted leaders of the nation. In the soul of the country, in between the Traffic jams,the shopping malls,the culture and customs of high-profile he discovers the White Tiger within himself. He can not live like a servant through out his life. He  sacrifices his beloved one,his family . He murders his own master, collects his money and flies to Banglore to start a new life.
     The Authors asks a question in his story : Did he take the right decision by sacrificing his own family , to live  a luxurious life ?  The Authors also answers the question by calling Balram , a White Tiger- one who is born  in a Century .If he had not sacrificed his family , his upcoming generation might live same miserable   life like his own or his father's or brothers'. The Author shares the idea :- There is no gain without  pain .The story will bind you from start till the end, you can not leave it in middle. :)

Multiple Operating Systems On a Single Desktop

Hi again,

If you are intended to work on multiple OS just on a single desktop , you can achieve it with  virtualization software like VMWare Workstation or Oracle VM VirtualBox.VirtualBox is a cross-platform virtualization application. It helps you to install and run as many virtual machines as you like – the only practical limits are disk space and memory.

For this You require the followings..

1.Host OS (let windows 7)

2.Guest OS (let ubuntu 9.10)

3.Virtualization software (let Oracle VM VirtualBox 4.04)

Let's get started:

Lets assume that we have host OS as Windows 7 and guest OS as ubuntu 9.10(the latest version of ubuntu is 10.10)

1.Download the latest version of VirtualBox from HERE, and then install it. You will get the start up window like shown in the fig-1.

fig-1

2.Create a new virtual machine by clicking on the "New" button to start the setup wizard.

fig-2

3.Create the name of your virtual machine (VM), in this case "Ubuntu9.10", and then select the Operating System and its version (see below).

fig-3

4.You’ll be asked to set the base memory(RAM) for ur VM .The default value is 512MB. Set the value as per ur system configuration.

 

fig-4

5.Now ,in “create a new virtual hard disk” ,just click on "Next" to start the Create New Virtual Disk Wizard.

fig-5

6.You’ll get a new window showing “Welcome to create new virtual disk wizard” , simply click next.In the next step u’ll be asked to select hard disk storage type. Select any of them , preferred is “Dynamically expending storage”.

fig-6

7.For the virtual disk storage size, make sure to allocate more than 5 GB for you to successfully install Ubuntu9.10. Click on "Next" and finish it up.

fig-7

8.Next windows are two summaries ,simply click ‘finish’ to finish the set up. You’ll get the next window as shown in fig-8 ,showing ubuntu9.10 –“Turned Off”.

 

fig-8

9.Ubuntu9.10 now appears on the list of virtual machines. Double-clicking Ubuntu9.10 will open the First Run Wizard. Click on "Next".

fig-9

10.You’ll be asked to select the Installation media. Make sure that ur Ubuntu9.10 CD is loaded in ur CD/DVD rom. Select the Host drive Letter of CD/DVD rom.

 

fig-10

11.You’ll get a summary window ,click on finish.A window will appear after some times as in the fig-11. You can select “Try ubuntu without any change to your computer” or “Install ubuntu”.

fig-11

12.If u click  “Try ubuntu without any change to your computer” a window will  come asking to select language.A prompt will also appear (see below). Just ignore it and click "OK".

fig-12

13.The Guest OS Ubuntu9.10 will get started after some duration, without any change in your Host OS.

fig-13

14.In this way you can enjoy working on both OS on a single Desktop.

fig-14

Multiple instances of Gtalk

Hi

 

If you have multiple gmail ids and you wanna sign in all the accounts in parallel , you can do this easily with your Gtalk. Just follow the instructions on your windows PC.....To edit existing Google Talk shortcut:

1. Right click on the Google Talk shortcut.
2. On the right click contextual menu, click on Properties.
3. Go to Shortcut tab on Google Talk Properties window.
4. On the Target textbox , add in the /nomutex to the end of the line so that it looks like below (or you can simply copy and paste the below syntax and replace the original)....... Fig-1         “c:\program files\google\google talk\googletalk.exe” /nomutex
5. Click on OK.



Fig-1

To create a new shortcut for Google Talk:

1. Right-click on the desktop or anywhere you want to place the GTalk shortcut.
2. Select New on the right click context menu.
3. Then select Shortcut.
4. Copy and paste the following line to the textbox when prompted to type the location of the item: “c:\program files\google\google talk\googletalk.exe” /nomutex
5. Click on Next.
6. Give the shortcut a proper name such as Google Talk or Google Talk Multiple or Google Talk Polygamy.
7. Click OK until you are done.

Now whenever you double click on the new/old Gtalk shortcut , new Gtalk windows will open each time . You will be able to sign in with all your Gmail ids simultaneously..........Fig-2

 

Fig-2