Emotional Bakwaas…

 

I ask my friend that I am tired of Facebook, getting all the fatuous posts, having no meaning just like Sho Sho  Honey Singh’s aalap. Well! If you are unaware of the lyrics of a song, and you are quite bad at guessing a singer by his/her voice, Sho Sho Honey Singh provides you the opportunity to introduce himself in each of his songs by barking his name in each alternative line of his song’s lyrics.( teri Principal bhi baby Sho Sho ki fan hai..). His mixture of Punjabi and English always has been a question mark on his identity : Whether is he a Punjabi Pop singer or an English rapper. He starts off his songs well in English verse – Blue eyes hypnotise… a non-Punjabi fan thinks.."Oh here comes our English rapper!" and finishes off his verse with : choti dress main, bomb lagdi mennu , rejuvenating Punjabi fans “Munda to apna Punjab da putar hai”.

Shit!  I deviated from my topic under discussion. Let him be whoever he is. Definitely my these good words might have raised eyebrows of many of his die-hard fans. Okay.. No more praiseworthy words for our Punglish(Punjabi + English) singer. Meanwhile, my friend replies to my dilemma :

-Yeah ! you are right. Even I am bored of Facebook (but still I find him online each time I go on the line ).

-Lets switch to another social networking site. I advice him : As if, there are plenty of option available!! Facebook has rich number of users in India. And if you are willing to switch to another social site, you will find yourself alone in Sahara Desert.

-All social sites are same. I don’t find anyone interesting, anymore.

-Lets create a new one!! I reply with tongue out of mouth smiley.

-Yes! that’s an excellent idea.Lets open our own company. Lets kick off our work. You become CTO and I’ll happy to be CEO.

-Yeah! Firstly we have to hire 4/5 addicted software (so called system’s) engineers. And we’ll name it *******.com. Fix a meeting tomorrow at 5 , in the morning at Taj hotel. I’ll be there.

-No! tomorrow I’ll be in Paris . If you manage to come over there, we can discuss with bed tea.

-No ! No!.. I’ll be managing a Swedish client at bed time..

-Then get the **** off.

-Ok, Lets lets drop this idea till further discussion. I hope you will manage.

-Great… as you wish !!

And that’s how our future-popular company remained only a plan unexecuted, breaking the heart of all future fans and users. And in agony of unwanted, uninteresting and insipid posts I ramped down my Facebook friends list from 350 to 87, deleting all alien faces. All the reason I can provide for this objectionable behaviour is : I like friends but i don’t like  friend of friends much !! However, you can definitely come to me at any point of time and ask “Do I give a shit of what you like ! ” and all I could reply is : Hallelujah !!

Let me move your attention to another trending topic and of-course a favourite time pass for people like us . Movies!!

“Haven’t you seen Andaaj apna apna !” One of the movie names people query about me with their disdainful eyes looking directly at me. “Can you believe it !! You know what, this fellow hasn’t seen Koi..mil gya !!” with eyes getting broader and broader getting my negative response. Friends also have started complaining that most of the times they find me napping in theatres, and at the end of the movie, asking them question about how the story ended!

Well ! there is no explanations I can provide about my untimed naps in theatres. But, about the Bollywood movies: I find their stories predictable, repeating the basic theme (so called love themes) in nearly most of the movies. Most movies start with a solid action and powerful dialogues. Then,the hero makes a dashing entry; meets the actress and love happens in air, and as usual always the third wheel, the villain comes into action. Whether you start watching a Hindi movies  from the beginning or in between the middle, you can always guess the past as well the upcoming plot of the story. …Emotional Atyachar is going on… all of a sudden an item song comes from no where…song ends, the Atyachar continues… At last the villain gets beaten and the love couples enjoys a happy ending. In all these unfavourable conditions how can you expect me watching movies uninterruptedly and attentively !!

PS : No offense intended to die-hard fans of, Sho Sho Honey Singh or Bollywood movies …

A Lost Battle…

“You got some time? Lets discuss about your past six months activities.  I got this work pending and the deadlines were the 10th of this month.”  Heard a familiar casual tone, as I was heading towards my cubical with heavy foot, after having routinely evening snacks. Of course the familiar voice was Boss’s, who definitely gets no time even to comb his remaining hairs. Watching me nodding positively, he headed towards a corner meeting room and I followed him obediently.

My evaluation form, which I had filled in almost no time(copying–pasting from last evaluation form) was wide open and my laziness was quiet visible in the comment sections of the form.

“Let me be transparent(not even translucent in my opinion) in this meeting, I’ll be rating your different parameters only in front of you by having a proper discussion. Oh! the comment sections are not filled properly. How do I know what have you done throughout the past months. I can’t remembers works of all team members, as there are several working under me.”  Spending no time he came straight to the first point : Quality.

“Actually, quality wise you have done a decent job, completed tasks on time, some times, well before hand. You are meeting the targets set for you…”

“Who sets the target for me?” I interrupted in the middle trying to be vigilant.

“That comes from the higher authorities. Now, where were we! Yes, quality wise you met the targets but it seems something is missing!”

“Something is missing!! What got missing?”

“Well I remember you didn’t performed well during one of the application release activities. That’s, what makes you not 100%.” he explained with a fake smile.

“I thought you would be reviewing my coding and analytical abilities, but the mentioned missing thing is fatuous.” I replied, thinking of the saying: Misdeeds are enduring while good deeds are ephemeral.

“That’s not pointless and its because sometimes you are not attentive. You have to be always careful, mistakes are not permitted. Lets see another parameter: Effort.

Your effort is efficient to the project specific works.  But the story here also lies the same. What extra effort have you put?” he questioned impassively looking directly at me.

“No extra payment no extra effort” I shrugged.

“Oh, there lies the problem. You do works which I assign to you. You do it pretty good or somehow I can say excellent, but you should take an initiative and come and ask me for some works.”

Being speechless, I nodded affirmatively.

“You have to do some extra things. Take an example. How many people have you appreciated in the our team for their good works. Have you ever came to me said: Oh Boss! You have done an excellent work. Kudos to you! Well done Bravo….”

“I thought that appreciation thing is only a top down approach. Means, the senior member should appreciate the junior one, and I fall in junior category,  otherwise it would be a supercilious act, a flattery.” I replied in defense.

“Oh no! That’s not what you think, Suppose, you provide a tip to waiter in a restaurant, think of it from perspective of the waiter: He might feel proud that he is rewarded because he’s done a good job serving his customers. Same feelings also applies here. We will also feel happy with such an appreciation.”

I thought of the idea may not be relevant but it was a well chosen comparison. Meanwhile the discussion was over with some more healthy tips. The outcomes suggested that the battle was already won: of-course not by me!! 

Is Boss Always Right ?

While the Boss was busy reviewing a piece of code and mumbling a boring old song of  90’s, I was sitting next to him with a spiritless look on the screen. Well, it bothers a lot, when you find someone crooning a song of your distaste, being next to you.
‘Do you drink?’ the first question, he asked as the scrutiny was over. I don’t know girl’s case, but it’s the most common question, boys ask during their normal conversations. Probably in a hope of finding a companion, if you say, yes, or getting a chance of teasing when you say no. And unlike all the other times I said ‘No’.
‘What are you saying man! You really don’t drink.’ he asked amusingly. ‘Is there any reason behind it or is it your health concerns?’ 
‘The problem is, I don’t like the taste of it. Its bitter.’ I replied giving a grimace.
‘Have u tried it or just or is it a presumption ? And if it’s a presumption, you are totally wrong’ he asked with reprobation, in response to my expression.
‘Well, I had tasted it, in college days, and I didn’t like it, and after that I didn’t tried’, I replied nonchalantly.
‘That’s the problem, If you don’t try , how would you like it?’ he said sounding judicious and rational. ‘See, when you first came here, you didn’t like COCOA, and after you tried, now you value it a lot. People don’t get the importance of things, until they use it, until they get addicted.’
‘Yes, but that’s because of, a little bit of interest and much of predicament. But surely,  I will consider this much thought of you and give it a try once again ’, jibed with his opinion, I replied.
‘ Yes sure, try it intermittently, but do not get habituated. Take some pegs and you will feel rejuvenated and fortified.’
I could only give a nod as in response, thinking that May be, The Boss is always right. Let it be the new year resolution , the idea came to my mind in introspection.
31st December Night:
‘And the most popular female actress awards goes to…’ The bitching  and moaning about the star plus cine award was on. I had my last peg, not at all in sober mood went directly to bed. Unaware of the phone calls for new year wishes, I laid on the bed with a spinning mind and an motionless body.
The next day, the first new year morning went cleaning up the mess of consequences of, last night drinks. And finally I managed to change, the new year resolution to ‘Do not, always listen to your Boss, The Boss is not always right.’

persons,wish to meet before 2013

 

The Thanks Giving day and Black Friday are over. Its not like I knew these western holidays earlier, until I got some mail representing exciting offers from Amazon and eBay on eve of these holidays.The new year is approaching rapidly along with the silent euphoria arousing inside, of, would be at home within the coming couple of weeks. The accomplishments are, of getting familiar of the latest OS provided by two different software giants, Apple and Microsoft (Mountain Lion / Windows 8). The new year celebrations are impending fast, however the apocalyptic day, 21/12/12 is imminent. The sky may fall and it may crumbles in the end of the year. Despite these uncertainties, and inspired, only by the title of the movie, “Jab Tak Hai Jaan”, I still urge to meet these persons before 2013.

Manmohan Singh 

Why ? Because he is the man behind currently the most successful woman in Indian politics.

 What To say ? Is it true that, first in his lifetime Rajnikant failed,and it was an unsuccessful attempt to make you speak ?

Barack Obama

Why? Because his foreign policy killed both, Obama physically and Romney, socially.

What to say ? You are the first person of The USA, your wife is the first lady, Which of your children should we consider the first Baby of the USA?

Tim Cook

Why? Because he made the greatest thing happen to iPhone since iPhone: the Apple Maps.

What to say ? You may have insanely great things in technology but, If you don’t have Windows 8, well, you don’t have Windows 8.

Sharukh Khan

Why? Because, he is been upgraded to King of romance after the era of Yash Raj ended.

What to say? Its time to change your choreographer for your next movie. Try something new, Oppan Gangnam Style!

 Kristen Stewart

Why? Because in current year, she is the highest paid actress in Hollywood .

What to say ? Vampires may be cold blooded but, its true that some of them have no facial expression at all.